Parents can cooperate with one another to establish custom parenting plans when they divorce. They can negotiate their own plans for sharing parenting time and the authority to make decisions about the children’s upbringing.
In some cases, they may need to go to court because they don’t agree on what might be best for their children. When the courts hear contested custody cases and have to establish a parenting plan for the family, they look at various details about the family unit.
The age of health of the children, the availability of the parents and numerous other factors influence what judges may decide is in the best interests of the children. Parents may worry that their children might prefer to live with their other parent.
Does a child get to choose where they live when their parents divorce?
Children can influence parenting plans
Judges settling contested custody cases have to consider a variety of factors, not just one concern. A child’s preferences can influence the final custody determination. However, even a mature teenager does not technically have the right to choose where they live or to dictate their own custody arrangements. Parents retain control over their lives, education and medical care until they become adults.
That being said, how the children feel and the connection they have with each parent can impact the parenting plan. Judges can interview children about their preferences. They make a reasonable effort to gauge the child’s maturity and the reasoning behind their stated preferences. The judge can then consider that along with other family factors when deciding which parent has more time with the children or which home becomes the primary residence.
For children, the need to express a preference about parenting matters can be relatively stressful. Even though they don’t need to testify in open court, the need to weigh in on custody matters can be traumatic. Parents may want to consider cooperating with one another to take that pressure off of their children.
Understanding what the courts consider when handling litigated custody cases can help parents understand the process. For some families, the realization that the children can’t set the terms themselves may inspire the parents to compromise to take the pressure off of their children.
